Windows XP SP3 Breaks Apache

I finally found out what was causing Apache to keep crashing. It was Service Pack 3. Thank the Google.

I had reinstalled Windows about half a dozen times. Each time I would reinstall Apache, and it would work. For a while, at least. Then it would start crashing. And not just crashing, either. Crashing in such a way that it could not be restarted without restarting Windows. Not good.

I assumed it was a virus, or some sort of incompatibility between the version of PHP I was using and the version of Apache I had installed. But no.

So now I have uninstalled SP3, reinstalled SP2, and everything is just fine and dandy. Now I can get on with my life.